Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A sigh of relief

I went to the high risk doctor today for my last visit! My last visit was actually supposed to be last month, but I was given somewhat of alarming news or atleast it was to me being a new mother. I was told at my last visit that Ella Jae may have a heart valve or atrium abnormality, which means that one side of her heart would become enlarged and fluid would begin to build around it. I was completely blown away because every screening had come back normal so far. The doctor went into great detail which confused and upset me even more. Then she said that it could be completely positional but wanted to see me back in 4 weeks to confirm if it was positional or if there was an abnormality with her heart which would mean surgery after she was born. Fortunately, Adam was with me at this visit otherwise I would not have been able to drive home. I completely lost it in the elevator. I tried so hard to wrap my head around everything she said, but none of it made any sense to me because every screening and sonogram had been completely normal until then. All I could think of was Ella Jae and feeling her tiny movements at that moment and then the possibility of something being wrong with her precious little heart. In my heart, I felt everything was fine but I still new that there may be a possiblity. Well, the next day I called the doctor to get better clarification and try to understand why I couldn't just go back right then and see if she was in a different position and they could take a better look at her heart. I spoke with the really sweet technician who I love, and she really gave me a peace about things and basically said that nothing was wrong with Ella Jae's heart and the doctor had to give me the whole scenerio and the possibilities and that I had to wait so her heart would be bigger so they could definitely confirm it was only possitional. I tried very hard to put it out of my mind and prayed a lot. We didn't tell many people because we did not want to alarm anyone if it were just positional, and praise the Lord, today it was confirmed that Ella Jae had a perfectly normal healthy heart!!! Call it mother's instinct, but I felt in my heart that she was perfect and I did not worry over the last month. When I would think "what if," I knew that God has a plan for her little life no matter what health condition she may be in, but I am just so thankful that she will be healthy. It was such a sigh of relief and I could have cried but I stayed strong! Praise the Lord that our sweet baby girl has a healthy strong heart. She is growing perfectly and putting on weight as normal. She weighs 2.8 lbs and is over 15 in. long! Which is right on target for 28 weeks, which I will be tomorrow!

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