Sunday, May 9, 2010

My First Mother's Day

Ella Jae,

What a special happy day you made for your Mommy on her first Mother's Day! Mother's Day has always been a little sad for me because my Mommy went to Heaven when I was just 13 years old. I always looked forward to the day when Mother's Day could be happy for me again, and you made Mother's Day happy for me again, Ella Jae. You make me happy everyday! I love you so much and cannot imagine my life without you. Growing up, I always thought of what my children would be like and look like. I thought of names for my babies and even fun traditions that I would someday want to start. And of all the thoughts I had and all the things I imagined, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of how much I could love you and or just how beautiful you would actually be! You are so precious and sweet, and I never knew how special I could feel when you smile at me or laugh at my silly faces. You even like it when I sing to you and believe me, your Mommy is no singer. I am not looking to when you realize I cannot sing, but maybe you will still like it anyways. I also never knew how helpless I could feel when you cry. I want so badly for you to never feel hurt or pain. I pray for your safety and health everyday. I already worry about you. I pray that God will use your little life for His glory and that you may touch the lives of others. I have so many hopes and dreams for you. And I want you to know that no matter what I will always be here for you and love you more than anything else in this world! You are heaven sent! I prayed for a little girl to love like my Mommy loved me and to be able to experience a Mother-Daughter relationship because mine was cut short. I cannot wait to make memories with you and share in heartfelt conversations, to play dolls and dress up, to share clothes with and go for manis and pedis, to hold hands and skip and run, to bake with and laugh and giggle with. My Mommy always said I was "her heart." And now I know what she meant. You are my heart, Ella Jae! You are my heart, my purpose, my life. It is a privilege and a sweet sweet blessing that I get be your Mommy! I thank God for you and for entrusting me with your precious life. I promise to keep you safe and protect you, to raise you up in all the right ways, and to show you an unconditional love. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I always want you to know how much you are wanted, loved and adored! I am the luckiest Mommy in the world to have the joy of giving birth to you and loving you. Thank you for making my first Mother's Day a very special one, one I will never forget!
Love Always,

1 comment:

Meggers said...

That was one of the sweetest things I have ever read! I sat here at work crying while I read it! God knew you needed Ella Jae and she is going to need you...she will always your best friend and the little love of your life! You and Ella Jae give me and Nicholas something to look forward to. Love you!!!